Monster High by Lisi Harrison

I went into this book with my mind already made up. For two reasons. 1.) It's by Lisi Harrison, author of the Clique and Alpha series. She kind of only does one thing. 2.) I was aware there was a line of dolls from Mattel called Monsters High so this was clearly a tie-in, and I'm judgey like that.

Frankie Stein is soooo excited to be going to high school! She's only 15 days old, but she is all set with spending the days in her father's lab. She wants to get out into the world! The only problem is, she must hide her true identify, because people get freaked out by monsters and all. Luckily for her, her high school is where all the other teenage monsters go (in disguise, of course). Melody and her family have just moved to town. Melody yearns for someone to accept her for who she is, not for her surgically created beautiful exterior (she got a nose job at her family's promoting). Although she might be beautiful outside, on the inside she's still that bumpy-nosed girl. Both Frankie and Melody struggle for acceptance, with a good old dose of Lisi Harrison style makeup and brand dropping and stealing other people's boyfriends. With monsters.

I was done on the first sentence of the prologue when it was revealed her name was Frankie Stein. You couldn't try a bit harder? Even a little? Damn. I was twice done when the first sentence of the first chapter went thusly: " The fourteen-hour drive from Beverly Hills, California, to Salem, Oregon, had been totally Gitmo." Totally Gitmo? Who says that? Does anyone say that? Has anyone ever heard a kid say that? Dear Mattel/Lisi Harrison, Stop trying to make fetch happen. There was a fair bit of that, slang being thrown around that I have never, ever heard a child say.

If you've ever read a Gossip Girl or Clique book, or any of that genre, you have read this. Plus monsters. But don't worry, they're not scary, they're just like you and me! They like makeup and boys and shopping. We get positive reinforcement like "Most brunettes used costume parties as an opportunity to go blond, and blonds never went brunette, so this was a needle-in-a-haystack situation, at best." Great, I have a bumpy nose and brown hair. No boy will ever, ever love me.

There was sort of an underlying theme of being accepted for who you are, but not really. Only if you're really beautiful. And have nice clothes. Otherwise screw you. Also, boyfriend stealing. There's a character, Bekka, whose boyfriend Frankie has a crush on for the almost all the book. We are suppose to see Bekka as needy and clingy and jealous and oppressive, and love Frankie even though she's moving in on someone else's boyfriend. Bekka, Frankie. Let's have a chat, shall we? Bekka, if you have to spend most your time wondering where your boyfriend is and tearing him away from other girls, you need to find someone who isn't going to put your through that. Totally not worth it. Frankie, do you really want to get with a guy who kisses other girls when he's supposedly exclusive with someone? I don't think you do. Now carry on.

All in all, it was pretty much what I was expecting. Except for one thing, which I can't figure out. The copyright for the Monster High book is from Mattel. The logo on the book is the same one of the doll's web site. They are clearly connected. But there is no mention of the book on doll web site, and no mention of the dolls on Lisi Harrison's web site. There is no cross advertising that I can see. Which just doesn't make sense at all. What's the point then? I can't figure it out. Also, the story on the doll's web site is not the same one from the book. I'm confused. Someone please explain.

Monster High is now out. I wouldn't add it to your must have list.